salem
covert operations
sat on the delete key for a full hour. nobody noticed until it was too late. no notes.
live demo · noodle is set to sit
mrrpy.cat/your-browser
your browser has a cat now.
a chrome extension that moves a small, opinionated cat into your tabs. it walks across what you’re reading. it sits where it shouldn’t.
opens a google form · cats notified: 1
behaviorseight states.
eight states.
zero opinions you can override.
the cat speaks in eight poses — for now. more are in training. there is no settings panel for charisma, because there is no charisma — just the cat.
present. judging.
going somewhere. nowhere good.
asleep. do not disturb. it does not care.
you picked it up. now what.
demands pets. accepts at most three.
about to pounce. on what? unclear.
vibing to your tab. headphones on.
it is typing. let it cook.
09+more states in training. the cats don’t do roadmaps.
residentsten residents.
ten residents.
pick one. or several. or none — they don’t care.
bjornmaine coon
enormous. fluffy. sits exactly where your cursor was going.
nubbinbrown tabby
walks across mid-sentence. every sentence.
mochiexotic shorthair
looks soft. blocks your search bar like a bouncer.
sukisiamese
narrates your browsing. nobody asked her to.
alfredtuxedo
dressed formal. behaves criminal.
picklescalico
three colors. one agenda. your keyboard.
winstonbritish shorthair
sat on the new tab button once. owns it now.
gizmosphynx
no fur. no shame. heat-seeking.
salemhouse panther
appears when you look away. gone when you look back.
frostlonghair
pristine white. sheds on dark mode specifically.
performance reviewsthe cats filed their own reports.
the cats filed their own reports.
they’re thriving.
★★★★★
winston
territory management
claimed the new tab button on day one. minus one star — the human adapted too quickly. no fun.
gizmo
thermal acquisition
located the warmest pixel on the screen. it is mine now. the human may keep the cold ones.
q & aquestions you’re going to ask.
questions you’re going to ask.
answers from the cat.
?is it a real cat?
↳no. blocks your screen like one. naps like one. ignores you like one. close enough.
?does it do anything useful?
↳it keeps you company while you procrastinate. arguably a service.
?can i pet it?
↳click it. you get about three pets before it walks off. them’s the rules.
?how do i make it stop?
↳there is a pause button. the cat knows about it. the cat is not worried.
?is my data safe?
↳the cat cannot read. it wants the warm spot near your cursor. which is now its spot.
